Growing Pains

Show me that smile again. Don't waste another minute on your cryin. We're nowhere near the end. The best is ready to begin.......Oh yea, As long as we got each other. We got the world spinning right in our hands. Baby, rain or shine, all the time. We got each other sharin the laughter and loooooooove.


I am experiencing what I would like to call adult "growing pains." No, I am not physically growing! God forbid I get any more freakishly tall than I already am. I think I am being stretched emotionally, mentally, spiritually, professionally, and however other way you can possible be stretched, and it is overwhelmingly uncomfortable. Unlike the song, I'm not "sharin the laughter and love" right now. Change gets harder and harder for me the older I get.


Why can't everything stay the same forever and ever? Each morning I wake up with this nagging feeling I can't pinpoint. Maybe it's my quickly approaching birthday. The last year of my twenties is here and it has been painfully hard to swallow. I realize that sounds young, but I can't wrap my head around it. I am so grateful for where I am at today, but the last few years have been tidal wave after tidal wave of emotions and change and life has flown by. I want to stop the clock, travel back in time, live ground hog day over and over again. Anything to keep the days from moving forward.


I was pushing my sleeping little boy in a stroller the other day and I realized that was probably going to be one of the last times I pushed one of my children in that stroller. I know it's ok to move forward, growth is good, change happens. I just wish it all happened a little slower. My mom says the thirties were the best years of her life. I'm really hoping she's right cause the twenties came and went in a moment.


Crap, I knew I should have started that whole scrapbooking thing when everyone else did.

Sometimes you just do what you gotta do.

So much has been going on since I last posted. I keep thinking....I need to blog about this and then I don't and now I will try to squish it all into one confusing post, if I can remember it all.

1. I started working full time and got my own office with a big "green apple" wall. The new office was not the result of my promotion, I was getting it anyway- we were moving offices, but ironicly it all happened on the same day. So February 1st started my new adventure in life, full-time working mama who is trying to lose 12 lbs by her 29th birthday, potty train her almost 3 year old and work on recipes for her "someday" bakery that seems really far in the future on this gloomy morning. It is February 3rd and I have already decided I need a sick day, but unfortunately I have not accrued any sick time! Annoyed and already looking forward to my next day off, I am staring at my green wall that doesn't seem to make me as happy as I thought it would. I am, however, looking forward to decorating my new office....I'm not sure if people do that, but I think I will. It needs a little something.

2. The potty training. This has to be one of the most trying time in a parents life. I have completely blocked out the experience with E because it was so traumatizing....it is all slowly coming back to me as I begin the journey with H. Not going to lie, I hate reading parenting books about stuff like this and moms that think they know it all really get on my nerves, but in this case I have had to call in outside reinforcements because I just might break. I have asked every mother I can find what they did, and most of them say, "When they are ready, they'll just do it." Um Hello, my child is almost 3 and I am ready. I'm sorry that he hasn't decided he is- he doesn't change his diapers. He is doing great with #1, wears underwear 100% of the time and has only had 1 accident in 5 days (including wearing underwear over night) but #2 is going to torture me into a slow death. The kid poops his pants EVERYDAY! It is the most disgusting thing I have every had to clean up in my life..... I can't do it another day, I will lose my mind! It doesn't help that he is with 4 different people during the week and I'm sure we all have different tactics. Mine is candy. I will give you candy, as much as you want, a king size candy bar....just please poop on the potty. I ask "Ok H, next time will you go on the potty?" His response: "Umm, no. I'll do it again. I'll poop my pants!" We've resorted to cold showers. My mom has informed me that she thinks it is child abuse. However, I have had several other moms suggest this tactic to me- a cold shower everytime they poop their pants, but it doesn't seem to be working. His sad little eyes fill with tears "Not a cold one mommy, please" but then the next day he does it all over again! I would just let it go and stand by the old saying, "Eventually he'll get it." No one goes to kindergarten wearing diapers, right? Wrong. A friend who is a teacher just informed me that she has a second grader still wearing diapers and pooping his pants daily....parents just couldn't get him potty trained. Heaven help me!

3. The 12 pounds.... It started back in August when I stopped going to the gym. I got really busy at work and the gym became a distant memory. The Holidays came and went and I woke up one morning unable to squeeze into my clothes. Bummer. In the past, I would just cut out some sugar hit the gym a few days a week and I'd be good to go. Well, that ain't happening anymore. Now that I professionally sit on my booty in front of a computer all day, my metabolism has plummeted to its death. Here's where it gets tricky.... I can cut out the sugar that's easy but working out has become almost impossible. I feel racked with guilt when I pick my children up at 5 PM from a long day at preschool and take them over to the gym to check them into another childcare for another hour and a half so mommy can look a little better in her swimsuit this summer. It is another one of those unpleasant choices I find myself making as a working mom. My solution: working out at home with the kids. So, far it has been a litte rocky. I pulled the P90x out of the garage, wiped off the dust and got started. This is what my home work out sounds like...."Please move, Mommy's going to step on you" "E, quit slapping my butt while I'm working out" "H, I need that band, it's not a whip" "Mom, your doing it wrong, like this (E demonstrating her take on the yoga position)." Not alot of me time, but it's getting the job done. One day I decided to venture out for a run with 90 lbs of toddler in my jogger. All was well until the kids started chanting "Go Mom Go" at the top of their lungs and people started to stare. It was motivational in the sense that I ran faster trying to get home ASAP!

4. David and E are busier than they've ever been and it's wonderful and chaotic all at the same time. David is in a new band, joined a softball team, leading worship at our church and in a men's group right now. E is playing T-ball, soccer and still doing ballet as well as trying to keep up with her Pre-K homeowork...yes, we have homework! H and I are getting in alot of one on one time together which is nice, but I've decided I'm a little jealous. I want a hobby too! I'm looking into some pastry and baking classes. I need a reason to work on my baking besides just the once a year birthday parties. Also, I'd like there to be something under my name on the family schedule besides work M-F, 8-5!

I'm slowly learning even the ugly things in life can be beautiful (if you dress them up a little and and use alot of make-up!)

My life lately has been a little crazy, never as expected but worth everyday!

If at first you don't succeed.....QUIT!

This has been my motto for most of my life. If it is difficult to learn or requires more than a moment of patience.....abort mission. I have such a hard time forcing my self to try, try again.

Most people learn this discipline in school. Studying, algebra, speech class... For me school was easy and mostly viewed as a social venue. Please note- school is the ONLY thing that I have ever been good at (notice the word "good" not "great")...my one sad talent. However, school technically doesn't fall into the talent category, so you can see my life long dilemma. Once my mother was asked what I was good at as a child, she literally had to think for a few moments and responded, "Mandy has always been a good reader." Seriously! All this to say- school required very little of me and I missed a giant opportunity to learn some patience and perseverance.

Excuses aside, this is a serious problem in my adult life. As I sit here at my desk, panicked at the thought of once again working on the dreaded website. The website. I hate it. I have decided I can't do it, who needs one, their lame....and that's that....I wish. The real story- it's not hard, it's just taking me longer than 5 minutes to figure out so I give up. I am aimlessly finding other things to do, procrastinating.

Ughh. Sometimes it's so hard to be a grown-up. I don't want to change. Sadly, I think my daughter has begun to exhibit the same less than desirable tendencies, therefore I must rid myself of this nasty habit once and for all. My Goal: To teach my children to work hard and persevere even when things don't come easy. At least I'll "try" ;)

Website....here I come. Gag.

Movin on up...to the east side...to a deluxe apartment in the skyyyyyy!

"Congrats" read a little yellow post it note as I got to my desk on Thursday morning. Attached was the paper work for my new position FULL-TIME Director of Special Events (I hear scary Halloween music in the background as I read that sentence out loud.) I've been cheering myself on mentally for the last 48 hours "You can do this." A few months ago, I never would have guessed this was where God was taking me, but I can honestly say I am pleasantly suprised. I will probably cry, complain and breakdown on more than one occasion, but I'm pretty excited to take on this new challenge! Feeling very excited to have my own salary, I asked David if I could get a Range Rover like Khloe Kardashian. He said, "Sure, just save your money and let me know when you have $80,000- I'll take you to get one!" Might be awhile, but we all have to have goals right? :)

The dog hates me.

It's a new year, new outlook, new resolutions and yet the days just don't have that "new" feel. After much soul searching and contemplation- I've decided it's the dog's fault. Every morning for the past few days I wake up to a pile of poop on the carper directly in front of my closet. The first morning I stepped in pee and caught myself seconds before stepping directly in the poop. At first I was angry. Who wants to be on their hands and knees in the dark cleaning dog poop off the carpet before they have had their morning coffee or shower? As the days go by, my anger has slowly morphed into anxiety. Why is he doing this? My perfectly potty trained dog of two years. Am I being punished for the "few" times I have taken the dog on a walk without a bag because I was too lazy to go back in the house and get one? This tragedy has sent me into a downward spiral of crazy. Our life is out of control...the kids are wild and misbehaving (a given in our house), our schedules our crazy (have been for years), I can't find my keys or phone in my black hole of a purse (life long problem) and now the dog is acting out- methodically pooping in the exact same spot every morning..... I have lost all sense of control. It is the straw that broke the camel's back. I've snapped. God help the dog, the children and especially David (it's always his fault ;) if it happens again.